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1.
KIRK Back in the day we took our first leap into space When Armstrong set foot on the moon, he launched a science fiction craze The stars were in our reach and planets in our gaze And we all flocked to the movie screen in an acid fueled daze It was the science fiction movies That showed we were all on the same team It was the science fiction movies That gave us all a reason to dream BONES Everybody knew the bomb would blow us all to smithereens The end was nigh, we couldn't survive, the suicide machine There was still a place where we could all convene We laughed we cried, our fear would subside, beneath the silver screen KIRK & BONES It was the science fiction movies That showed we were all on the same team It was the science fiction movies That gave us all a reason to dream SPOCK There were too many problems to fit into this song It was really quite illogical, so much was going wrong There was still a place where we could all belong In the darkness of the cinema we could prosper and live long KIRK, SPOCK & BONES It was the science fiction movies That showed we were all on the same team It was the science fiction movies That gave us all a reason to dream The Enterprise dances onto stage. KIRK In three hundred years mankind will sail among the stars We'll spread our love to alien lifeforms no matter how bizarre SPOCK We'll seek out those strange new worlds we will explore BONES And leave the past behind with so much suffering and war KIRK, SPOCK & BONES It was the science fiction movies That showed we were all on the same team It was the science fiction movies That gave us all a reason to dream It was the science fiction movies.
2.
KIRK, SPOCK & BONES Remember when, we were all the rage We couldn't wait to turn another page The tales of our adventures throughout the universe To find that it is waning is a curse We found ourselves in peril, but made it back unscathed Armed with the prime directive, our flag of peace we waved KIRK Disseminating wisdom, and on my arm some green chick And I was always whipping out my... phaser KIRK, SPOCK & BONES After all the wormholes, the tribbles, the attacks SPOCK The androids, BONES The saltsuckers, KIRK The snappy comebacks BONES Dammit, now it's time to face the facts This is our final act KIRK I'd like a quiet planet, somewhere in the Cygnet branch And settle down with someone, maybe on a Ceti eel ranch She'll be so blind with love, I’ll be so happy with my luck And every morning, we’ll wake up and... snuggle. BONES Yes that's the life we should’ve all retired long ago. SPOCK In facing our mortality we face our greatest foe. BONES That is the hardest to admit. KIRK We're too old for this... crazy, nutty kind of... running around everywhere... (ad lib old man rambling) BONES & SPOCK Remember when, we were all the rage? But now we're living in another age.
3.
KHAN Mama was an artist who worked in plaster Her name was Cynthia Plaster Caster Her subjects were in the music business She made copies of their physical fitness No one knew she was stealing their spew To create a genetic brew I was born without a soul I was born to play this role I was spawned by rock and roll I was born with a mullet and tan And was raised to be a one man band I learned to sing before I could talk Played lead guitar before I walked I got used to all the applause I was born to break every law I was born without a soul I was born to play this role I was spawned by rock and roll KIRK (spoken) Spock, prepare photon torpedoes. SPOCK (spoken) Yes, Captain. KIRK (spoken) Our only hope is to strike quickly while he’s distracted. BONES (spoken) How did you know he wouldn't kill us immediately? KIRK (spoken) Two-dimensional! He wouldn't miss a chance to gloat. SPOCK (spoken) All systems ready, Captain. KIRK (spoken) Excellent, Spock. We’ll show this Khan that we’ve still got some fight left. KHAN Then when I was about to conquer the world Along came Kirk and this ditzy girl You ruined my chance you ruined my life! Caused my downfall caused my strife! I was frozen dead but alive Waiting for the day to be revived It feels great to come unhinged You will cower, you will cringe As I take my rock revenge I got used to all the applause I was born to break the laws I was born without a soul I was born to play this role I was spawned by rock and roll
4.
SPOCK Slingshot Hot spot Hangin' round With Hot Shot Distant lights Endless nights Navigation, Be precise Time and space We will displace Capacitor with Plutonium base KIRK, SPOCK & BONES We are masters of time and space We can alter our reality Past and present will interlace Time is just a formality SPOCK Highly illogical Slightly astrological Very pedagogical Almost mythological A bit geological Even neurological Mainly chronological Never gynecological KIRK, SPOCK & BONES We are masters of time and space We can alter our reality Past and present will interlace Time is just a formality SPOCK Slingshot Hot spot Hangin' round With Hot Shot Distant lights Endless nights Navigation, Be precise Time and space We will displace Because we must Win this race Time and space We will displace Because we must Win this race
5.
VALERIE Look at your clothes from the twenty-third century You need some brand new stuff We need to make you more radical too We need to make you tuff We need to get you some acid washed blue jeans, Jordache and Calvin Klein, A pink Izod shirt with the collar flipped up. Then you'll be totally fine. You'd look so awesome in neon And some wicked Ray Bans. You'll be much cooler than, like, freon In OP shirts, pegged jeans and Vans. I'll take you shopping at my galleria To get you some haute couture. We'll get you some hair gel and parachute pants - Totally tubular! Our world in the twenty-first century Seems like one big stupid fad. Sometimes life is totally bogus. You're here, and it's totally rad. All other guys are so grody. I am so stoked you are here. We should be totally boinking. I'll be your final frontier. Guys in the valley just all barf me out. I like my boyfriends mature. You're like as old as my grandpa, no doubt, But you're a he-man for sure! Our world in the twenty-first century - Most guys here are just major tools. Sometimes I just want someone gnarly. You're here, and it's totally cool. Like I'm so sure I would totally bag it. I wanna be your boy toy. Oh my gawd, I am so mega-spazzin! KIRK You want me bad? VALERIE No Doi!!
6.
7.
BONES Here I am, yet again, Another chance to emote. Every time I let down my guard, They expect the same damn quote. I say it as I'm bending down Over some schmuck in a red shirt. Seconds ago, he was just fine, Now he's face down in the dirt. We find ourselves adjusting the plot To fit it in right now. Just to please the audience, We find we must kowtow. Closing in on the end of the show, Things are looking grim. So here's what you've been waiting for: "He's dead, Jim." (spoken) He’s dead, Jim.
8.
KIRK You make me breathless like the vacuum of space In all the cosmos, I wanna be in your embrace I traveled so far to be with you My love is as deep as the sky is blue I'm a rocket man, and you light my fuse You're my Venus, my new muse The countdown's started, and I'm so glad VALERIE Why don't you come on to my launch pad? KIRK Our love is as wide as the infinite skies VALERIE I look and can see the stars in your eyes Our passion, it will only increase KIRK Won't you let me come in peace? VALERIE I'm so totally like a virgin, but you I adore KIRK I'll boldly go where no man has gone before. In my long life, I've never felt- VALERIE Shut up and unfasten my asteroid belt KIRK & VALERIE Our love is as wide as the infinite skies I look and can see the stars in your eyes Our passion, it will only increase Won't you let me come in peace? VALERIE (spoken) Hey, I can see Uranus from here! KIRK & VALERIE Won’t you let me come in peace?
9.
KIRK, SPOCK & BONES We are masters of time and space Always changing future history On the voyage home to our place In the twenty-third century EVERYONE It was the science fiction movies That showed we were all on the same team It was the science fiction movies That gave us all a reason to dream It was the science fiction films.
10.

about

This is the original cast recording of "Khaaaaan! the Musical," which was the best attended show at the 2010 Kansas City Fringe Festival. To find out more about the show, visit www.jupiterkansas.com

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released May 10, 2011

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Bryan Colley Kansas City, Missouri

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